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Doug's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2005-09-14 19:04
Subject:For Fred
Security:Public

From meCollapse )

5 comments | post a comment



Date:2005-06-17 05:56
Subject:How long will it take to make you never let me go?
Security:Public
Mood: sleepy

Never Let Me Go
by me

I think I’ve reached the point
I swore I’d never reach
I think it’s past the point
Of no return.

I think this time I need,
I swore I’d never need
But now I must concede
Before I end up getting burned.

I’m tossing and turning
My whole body’s burning
My heart’s finally learning
That it has met its match.

How long will it take
Before you’re convinced that I’m the one?
How many times must I break
Before you’ve decided that you’re done
Thinking of us as temporary
Believing that permanence is scary?
How long will it take
To make
You never let me go?

I’m scared I feel too much
Maybe you don’t return
What I feel, I’m out of touch
With what you might be withholding

I don’t know if you need,
I swore I’d never need
Why am I overanalyzing
When I’ve got such a good thing going?

I’m living, reliving
The loves I’ve been giving
And losing and winning
Have somehow now crossed paths.

How long will it take
Before you’re convinced that I’m the one?
How many times must I break
Before you’ve decided that you’re done
Thinking of us as temporary
Believing that permanence is scary?
How long will it take
To make
You never let me go?

Hold me
When I’m old, be
There to hold me
Don’t let me go, be
Right where you are now
How long 'til there's no doubt?
It's been a year now,
Do I have to wait one more?

I think I’ve reached the point
I swore I’d never reach
I think it’s past the point
Of no return.

I think this time I need,
I’m praying that you need
I’m starting to believe
That you’re afraid of getting burned.

I’m tossing and turning
My whole body’s burning
My heart’s finally learning
That it has met its match.

I’m living, reliving
The loves I’ve been giving
And losing and winning
Have somehow now crossed paths.

How long will it take
Before you’re convinced that I’m the one?
How many times must I break
Before you’ve decided that you’re done
Thinking of us as temporary
Believing that permanence is scary?
How long will it take
To make
You never let me go?

Don’t think of us as temporary,
Permanence should not be scary.
How long will it take
To make
You never let me go?

How long will it take
To make
You never let me go?

3 comments | post a comment



Date:2005-05-10 00:34
Subject:"Why do I need you?"
Security:Public
Mood: accomplished

Painful To Love by me

I'm taking a moment
To address a few concerns
I have been having
About the state that I'm in.

I've held you through heartbreak,
When you've been frozen or been burned
And sometimes I know why,
But there are other times when

I don't see the appreciation,
The adoration
In your eyes.
Sometimes I feel your heart's gone blank, that
It's an affectation.
Don't tell me I'm blind.

Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?
Why do I dream of you
When it's always a nightmare,
Always a nightmare?

Why do I feel you
Like you're under my skin,
Breaking my soul from within?
Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?

Good God, I'm in too deep.
I've lost all hope of getting out.
I have been digging
This hole with you for too long.

Used to be so sure we'd make it,
And now I'm lying in a pool of doubt
And sometimes I know why,
But there are others when I think we belong.

When I don't hear the words of anger,
Spelling danger
For our love.
But then you make me feel like a stranger,
Then there's nothing stranger
Than our love.

Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?
Why do I dream of you
When it's always a nightmare,
Always a nightmare?

Why do I feel you
Like you're under my skin,
Breaking my soul from within?
Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?

I guess you make me feel wonderful,
Sometimes you make me spectacular.
Like there's a place in this world
For me.

But then you'll make me feel pitiful,
Sometimes it seems it's a ritual
For you to pick me up and drop me down
On my knees.

The last wound's just healed
By the time you break me apart again.
You've fractured my will,
And still
I need you.

Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?
Why do I dream of you
When it's always a nightmare,
Always a nightmare,
Always a nightmare,
Always a nightmare...

Why do I feel you
Like you're under my skin,
Breaking my soul from within?
How do I break free again
From this love that we're in?

Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?

Why do I need you
When you're so damn painful to love?

23 comments | post a comment



Date:2005-04-08 00:35
Subject:Would the hold we had grow distant or the embrace become much stronger?
Security:Public
Mood: contemplative

I made this public since someone linked it. :op

After The Dance by me

I had a dream
I wrote a song
That opened up your ears.
It said you're right,
It said I'm wrong,
It admitted all my fears.
And in the dream
You sang along -
Somehow you knew all the words.
You danced with me
Right up 'til dawn.
And the rest is all a blur.

But when the band stopped playing
I looked into your eyes
And what they were saying
Wasn't hard to recognize.

When we danced,
It was amazing.
Our hearts were racing,
And God knows we had
Every chance
To twirl on that floor,
But we wanted more
Than the time we had
On our hands.
We walked away after the dance.

Once in awhile
I'll hear your name,
And the music starts again.
I start to smile,
It feels the same
As when we moved back then.
In my mind,
Alone I sway,
And the thoughts inside begin
Of what I lost
And what I gained -
The beginnings and the end.

How would life be different
Had the song gone on much longer?
Would the hold we had grow distant
Or the embrace become much stronger?

When we danced,
It was amazing.
Our hearts were racing,
And God knows we had
Every chance
To twirl on that floor,
But we wanted more
Than the time we had
On our hands.
We walked away

After the dance,
A phone call or two,
A message from you
Saying maybe it's all for the best
You took your hand off my shoulder
And your head off my chest.

Memories are all I have left.

When we danced,
It was amazing.
Our hearts were racing,
And God knows we had
Every chance
To twirl on that floor,
But we wanted more
Than the time we had
On our hands.
We walked away after the dance.

You walked away after the dance.

We walked away after the dance.

2 comments | post a comment



Date:2005-03-16 01:03
Subject:"I'm in not enough futures and too many pasts."
Security:Public
Mood: moody

Too Many (The One About You) by me

I've let too many people
See me cry -
Not enough of the right ones,
To those my eyes
Are dry.

Been to too many parties,
Standing alone
While the rabid crowd swarms me,
'Cause they don't know
I'm prone

To think maybe a little too much,
To wonder what it's like to be touched
On that place inside
That I hide
From everyone but you.

I've let too many friendships
Fade away,
Which is why I'm in my room
Where I have stayed
All day.

Knocked down too many walls that should
Have been left,
And now I'm strained and restrained,
Feeling the stress
In my chest.

Too many times it's all gone too far,
Too many lessons remembered by scars.
They're all here inside,
You know I'd
Like to show them to you.

I've broken too many fences,
I've dropped too much glass.
I'm in not enough futures
And too many pasts.

I've watched too many sunsets
Fade to black
Without pleading with the sun,
"Keep this view I have intact...
...come back."

I've broken too many fences,
I've dropped too much glass.
I'm in not enough futures
And too many pasts.

Too many realities were dreams.
Too many dreams were just fantasies
I believed inside
At the time -
Just like I
Believe the one about you.

post a comment



Date:2005-02-09 12:48
Subject:The hearing loss may not be permanent, but the effects are, more or less.
Security:Public
Mood: rejuvenated

Rain In New Orleans by me

Rain, rain, don't go away.

The concert outside the Howlin' Wolf
Left my eardrums all a mess.
The hearing loss may not be permanent,
But the effects are, more or less.

The music, how it touched my soul -
Seaped through my open skin.
And now the rain is pouring down,
Letting it all soak in.

I'm walking in the rain
In New Orleans,
I'm walking
In the rain in New Orleans.
I'm walking
In the
Rain in New Orleans.
Rain, rain,
Don't go away.

I must admit lately my life
Has been void of inspiration.
It's work and home, and that's all right,
But I needed this vacation.

The weather sometimes ruins things,
But on this day I saw
Through those all-knowing drops of rain
My soul down at Lundi Gras.

I'm walking in the rain
In New Orleans,
I'm walking
In the rain in New Orleans.
I'm walking
In the
Rain in New Orleans.
Rain, rain,
Don't go away.

Between the band I'd come eleven hours to see
And the rain blinding me,
As I wandered down South Peters Street,
I'd believe I was in Heaven,
If that's what you told me.
The music lifted my spirit,
And the rain set it free.

I'm walking in the rain
In New Orleans,
I'm walking
In the rain in New Orleans.
I'm walking
In the
Rain in New Orleans.
Rain, rain,
Don't go away.

8 comments | post a comment



Date:2005-02-09 12:38
Subject:That's what makes the Mardi Gras the craziest thing you ever saw.
Security:Public
Mood: exhausted

Mardi Gras by me

There's an older couple on vacation,
A homeless man facing starvation,
A young girl with three kids
Too young to talk.

Exchange students from foreign nations,
And half the southern population
Must be down on Bourbon,
Ready to rock.

And rock they will
Right up until
The last bead is thrown
And the last bar is closed.

That's what makes the Mardi Gras
The craziest thing you ever saw.
A party full of greed -
You need
The beads.
The alcohol is overflowing,
And wait 'til you see what they're showing -
More skin than you'd believe,
Both he
And she.
For awhile they all love each other,
Everyone is someone's brother.
From Mr. Mayor
To the guy passed out on Bourbon Street.

The whites and blacks, Hispanics, Asians,
The boys in blue down at the station,
They're all out there
Throwing their cares away.

It's all about the scintillation
And who can last the duration -
From the beginning
All the way to Fat Tuesday.

And last they will,
Right up until
The last float's gone by
And the last cup is dry.

That's what makes the Mardi Gras
The craziest thing you ever saw.
A party full of greed -
You need
The beads.
The alcohol is overflowing,
And wait 'til you see what they're showing -
More skin than you'd believe,
Both he
And she.
For awhile they all love each other,
Everyone is someone's brother.
From Mr. Mayor
To the guy passed out on Bourbon Street.

There's Jesus freaks
And drunken creeps
And topless girls
You'd never ever
Stand a chance to meet...

Outside of Mardi Gras -
The craziest thing you ever saw.
A party full of greed -
You need
The beads.
The alcohol is overflowing,
And wait 'til you see what they're showing -
More skin than you'd believe,
Both he
And she.
For awhile they all love each other,
Everyone is someone's brother.
From Mr. Mayor
To the guy passed out on Bourbon Street.

16 comments | post a comment



Date:2005-01-24 13:58
Subject:I'll be the best friend you ever forgot you had.
Security:Public
Mood: calm

Posted again because, as Jen says, backdating is EVIL!

Freeze by me

Something going on,
Inside a frozen heart for so long.
But now I've never felt warmer,
So please call off the coroner -
Because I've finally thawed out in this sun.

I've been uninformed
By a heart that's refused to stay warm.
But now I'm letting myself breathe -
No longer will opulence be a tease.
For I am rich in emotions once kept behind bars.

I'll be the best friend
You ever forgot you had.
I'll be the reason
You try to ignore your past.
I'll be the blanket
You don't wanna wear when it's cold.
Let yourself freeze -
Doesn't matter to me.

Your life's going well,
Well mine's in the middle of recovering from this hell.
But when it all fades to black,
Don't say I never tried to pull you back
To the light that was trying to make all that ice melt.

I'll be the best friend
You ever forgot you had.
I'll be the reason
You try to ignore your past.
I'll be the blanket
You don't wanna wear when it's cold.
Let yourself freeze -
Doesn't matter to me.

You called out to me -
I heard you,
Did you hear my reply?
I said, "I'm sorry life's been hard on you,
But what else was I supposed to do?
I've tried and cried my ass off for you.
Now why don't you go
Find another heart's glow
To unfreeze your world again.
'Cause I'm the best friend...

You ever forgot you had.
I'll be the reason
You try to ignore your past.
I'll be the blanket
You don't wanna wear when it's cold.
Let yourself freeze -

'Cause I'm the best friend
You ever forgot you had.
I'll be the reason
You try to ignore your past.
I'll be the blanket
You don't wanna wear when it's cold.
Let yourself freeze -
Doesn't matter to me.

Doesn't matter to me.

5 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-12-24 16:29
Subject:DVD/CD Wish List
Security:Public

Wish List - Last Updated: 8-17-06

DVDs

Brian Regan - I Walked On The Moon
Chasing Amy
Dogma
Fletch
Fletch Lives
Groundhog Day
Harry and the Hendersons (not available...yet)
The Ladies' Man
Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic

and the rest of the Cusack movies.

Top Five
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.



CDs

Bleu - Redhead
Blue October - "The Answers"
Blue October - "Argue With a Tree"
Dash Rip Rock - "Dash Rip Rock"
Dash Rip Rock - "Ace of Clubs"
Dexter Freebish - Dexter Freebish
Epic Hero - Brighter Mess
Five For Fighting - "Message For Albert"
Florez - Find Yourself
Florez - In Flight
GB Leighton - It's All Good
John Thomas Griffith - "Son of an Engineer"
Guster - Ganging Up On The Sun
Jeremiah Freed - Slow Burn
Billy Joel - "Greatest Hits, Volume 3"
Elton John - "Greatest Hits"
Mat Kearney - Bullet
Fred LeBlanc - "Dammit"
Fred LeBlanc - "Here On Earth"
Lonesome Travelers - "Lonesome Travelers"
Stephen Lynch - "A Little Bit Special"
Stephen Lynch - "The Craig Machine"
Stephen Lynch - "Superhero"
Matchbox 20 - "Mad Season"
Craig Morgan - "Craig Morgan"
Craig Morgan - "I Love It"
Paul Sanchez - "Jet Black and Jealous"
Paul Sanchez - "Loose Parts"
Paul Sanchez - "Sonoma"
Paul Sanchez - "Sold Out...at Carrollton Station"
Paul Sanchez - "Hurricane Party"
Sister Hazel - Absolutely (Released 10-10-06)
Stephen Speaks - "No More Doubt"
Sonia Tetlow - "Sula Peace"
Sonia Tetlow - "Reclaiming Beauty"
Sonia Tetlow - "The Chicken Fingers EP"
Sonia Tetlow - "Songs in Solitude"
Sonia Tetlow - "Mouth to Mouth"
Butch Walker - Left of Self-Centered
Dar Williams - "Mortal City"
The Zutons - Tired of Hanging Around

Top Five

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

post a comment



Date:2004-12-24 01:23
Subject:RMT
Security:Public

Redrock Media Track (RMT) - Last Updated: 1-23-06

Recent Additions

DVD:

Back To The Future - The Complete Trilogy
Hot Pursuit
The Ice Harvest
Kentucky Fried Movie
The Oh In Ohio
Scoop
Slither
Three Amigos
Greg the Bunny - Best of the Film Parodies
Hulk Hogan - The Ultimate Anthology
Roseanne - The Complete First Season

Previously:

28 Days Later
Dogma
Gremlins
ALF: Season Four
WWE: McMahon





CD:

Blue October - The Answers
Blue October - Argue With a Tree
Jim Boggia - Fidelity is the Enemy
The Buzzhorn - Disconnected
Cantinero - Championship Boxing
Carbon Leaf - Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat
Epic Hero - A Brighter Mess
Chad Hollister Band - Spirits
The Perishers - From Nothing To One
Sonia Tetlow - Sula Peace
Sonia Tetlow - Reclaiming Beauty
Vast - Nude
Dar Williams - Mortal City



Previously:

Barenaked Ladies - Barenaked Ladies Are Me: Deluxe Edition
Creed - Human Clay
Fastball - Harsh Light of Day
The Frames - Dance the Devil
The Frames - For the Birds
Colin Hay - Going Somewhere
Matchbox 20 - Mad Season
Mark McGuinn - One Man's Crazy
Nickel Creek - Why Should the Fire Die?
Poe - Haunted













The DVD Collection

Current: 210

21 Grams
28 Days Later
Abandon
About Schmidt
American Splendor
American Wedding
America's Sweethearts
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Amy's O
Anchorman
Annie Hall
The Aristocrats
Arlington Road
Back To School
Back To The Future - The Complete Trilogy
Bad(der) Santa
Being John Malkovich
Best In Show
Better Off Dead
The Big Bounce
Big Bully
The Big Empty
The Big Lebowski
Big Trouble
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Bottle Rocket
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Broken Flowers
Bruce Almighty
Bullets Over Broadway
Cabin Fever
Child Star
City Hall
Clay Pigeons
Close Your Eyes
Cocoon
Cocoon: The Return
Cops and Robbersons
Crazy Little Thing
Dirty Dancing (Ultimate Edition)
Dirty Work
Dodgeball
Dogma
Dumb and Dumber
Duplex
Eight Men Out
Elf
Employee of the Month
Ernest Goes To Jail
Eulogy
Far From Heaven
Fat Man & Little Boy
Fight Club
Finder's Fee
Frailty
Frank McClusky, C.I.
Freddy vs. Jason
Garden State
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters 2
Gremlins
The Grifters
Grosse Pointe Blank
Happy Endings
Happy Campers
High Crimes
High Fidelity
High Tension
Hoodwinked
Hot Pursuit
The Ice Harvest
Identity
Innocence
Intolerable Cruelty
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
The Jack Bull
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Johnny English
Just Friends
Kentucky Fried Movie
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
Lean on Me
Legends of the Fall
Lost in Translation
Love Actually
Love Story
Made
Mafia!
The Man
The Man Who Knew Too Little
Max
Mean Girls
Men Seeking Women
Melvin Goes To Dinner
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
A Mighty Wind
Money For Nothing
Mumford
Must Love Dogs
My Fellow Americans
Mystic River
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad
The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear
The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
Napoleon Dynamite
National Lampoon's Black Ball
A Night At The Roxbury
The Oh In Ohio
Out Cold
Pieces of April
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Poltergeist
Pretty Persuasion
The Princess Bride
Psycho (1999)
P.S. Your Cat Is Dead
Punch-Drunk Love
Rat Race
Ready To Rumble
Resident Evil
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Runaway Jury
The Rundown
Say Anything
School of Rock
Scoop
Seeing Other People
Serendipity
Shopgirl
Shrek
Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Summer
Slither
Something's Gotta Give
Sour Grapes
Starsky and Hutch
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
The Story of Us
Strange Relations
Stripes
Stuck On You
Suburban Commando
Suicide Kings
Super Troopers
S.W.A.T.
Tapeheads
Teddy Bears' Picnic
The Terminal
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
There's Something (More) About Mary
Three Amigos
Threesome
Trading Places
True Colors
The Underneath
Very Bad Things
Wagons East
Waiting
Waiting For Guffman
Wedding Crashers
Wendigo
What About Bob?
What Dreams May Come
Willow
Wish You Were Dead

Other DVDs

ALF: Season One
ALF: Season Two
ALF: Season Three
ALF: Season Four
Barenaked Ladies: Barelaked Nadies
Barenaked Ladies: Everything Else (DVD from Everything To Everyone Album)
The Ben Stiller Show: Complete Series
Blue October - Argue With a Tree
The Brak Show: Volume 1
Southern Comfort Presents: Cowboy Mouth
Clerks - The Animated Series
Cowboy Mouth - Alive
Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete First Season
Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Second Season
Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Third Season
Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns (They Might Be Giants DVD)
The Godthumb
Great Big Sea - Great Big DVD
Greg the Bunny: Complete Series
Greg the Bunny - Best of the Film Parodies
Growing Paints - The Complete First Season
Guster On Ice - Live From Portland Maine
Hulk Hogan - The Ultimate Anthology
Stephen Lynch - Live at the El Rey
Mad About You: Complete First Season
Mad About You: Complete Second Season
Mitch Hedberg: Mitch All Together (DVD from the CD of the same name)
Mr. Show: Complete First and Second Season
Mr. Show: Complete Third Season
Mr. Show: Complete Fourth Season
Ned and Stacey: First Season
NewsRadio: The Complete First and Second Seasons
NewsRadio: The Complete Third Season
NewsRadio: The Complete Fourth Season
Night Court - The Complete First Season
Collin Raye: Live at Billy Bob's Texas
Roseanne - The Complete First Season
Saturday Night Live: The Best of Phil Hartman
Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell
Sister Hazel: A Life in the Day
Brad Stine: Put a Helmet On!
Thumb Wars
WWE - Andre the Giant
WWE: McMahon
WWE: Tenth Anniversary Raw




The CD Collection

Current: 438

3 Doors Down - "Away From the Sun"
Abandoned Pools - Humanistic
Air Supply - "Ultimate Air Supply"
Air Supply - "All Out Of Love...Live!"
Assembly of Dust - Gathering of the Vibes, Live 8-18-06
Athenaeum - Radiance
Athenaeum - Athenaeum
Backstreet Boys - "Backstreet Boys"
Barenaked Ladies - "Gordon"
Barenaked Ladies - "Maybe You Should Drive"
Barenaked Ladies - "Shoe Box E.P."
Barenaked Ladies - "Born on a Pirate Ship"
Barenaked Ladies - "Rock Spectacle"
Barenaked Ladies - "Stunt"
Barenaked Ladies - "Maroon"
Barenaked Ladies - "Disc One: All Their Greatest Hits (1991-2002)
Barenaked Ladies - "Everything To Everyone"
Barenaked Ladies - "Play Everywhere For Everyone, Lexington, KY 03-05-04"
Barenaked Ladies - "Barenaked For The Holidays"
Barenaked Ladies - Barenaked Ladies Are Me: Deluxe Edition
Ben Folds Five - "Whatever & Ever Amen"
Better Than Ezra - Deluxe
Better Than Ezra - Friction, Baby
Better Than Ezra - Before the Robots
Big Head Todd and the Monsters - "Beautiful World"
Billy Talent - "Billy Talent"
Blessid Union of Souls - Home
Blessid Union of Souls - The Singles
Blink-182 - "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket"
Blue Man Group - "The Complex"
Blue Merle - "Burning in the Sun"
Blue October - The Answers
Blue October - Consent To Treatment
Blue October - History For Sale
Blue October - Argue With a Tree
Blue October - Foiled
Jim Boggia - Fidelity is the Enemy
Bon Jovi - "Crossroad"
Bon Jovi - "This Left Feels Right"
Butterfly Boucher - "Flutterby"
Michael Brandmeier - "Spirit On The Run"
The Bravery - "The Bravery"
Brother Cane - Wishpool
Marc Broussard - "Carencro"
The Buzzhorn - Disconnected
Cake - "Fashion Nugget"
Cantinero - Championship Boxing
Captain Tractor - Land
Captain Tractor - East of Eden
Carbon Leaf - Echo Echo
Carbon Leaf - Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat
The Cars - "Complete Greatest Hits"
Chumbawamba - Tubthumper
The Clarks - Between Now and Then
Bruce Cockburn - "Stealing Fire"
Marc Cohn - "The Rainy Season"
Coldplay - "A Rush of Blood to the Head"
The Connells - Weird Food and Devastation
Drew Copeland - "No Regrets"
The Coral - Magic and Medicine
The Coral - Nightfreak and the Sons of Becker
Counting Crows - "August and Everything After"
Counting Crows - "Films About Ghosts, The Best of Counting Crows"
Cowboy Mouth - "Mouthin' Off Live...'92"
Cowboy Mouth - "It Means Escape"
Cowboy Mouth - "Word of Mouth"
Cowboy Mouth - "Are You With Me?"
Cowboy Mouth - "Mercyland"
Cowboy Mouth - "Easy"
Cowboy Mouth - "All You Need Is Live"
Cowboy Mouth - "Uh-Oh"
Cowboy Mouth - "Live at the Zoo"
Cowboy Mouth - "Voodoo Shoppe"
Creed - Human Clay
Dash Rip Rock - Pay Dirt
The Datsuns - Outta Sight Outta Mind
Dave Matthews Band - "Before These Crowded Streets"
Howie Day - "Stop All The World Now"
Dazy Head Mazy - "They're All Wearing Pearls"
Deadeye Dick - Different Story
Gavin DeGraw - "Chariot"
Gavin DeGraw - "Chariot - Stripped"
John Denver - Best of...
Willy DeVille - "Backstreets of Desire"
Dexter Freebish - "A Life of Saturdays"
Dexter Freebish - "Tripped Into Divine"
Dispatch - "Bang Bang"
Econoline Crush - "The Devil You Know"
Emmet Swimming - Wake
Emmet Swimming - Arlington To Boston
Emmet Swimming - "Big Night Without You"
Val Emmich - Slow Down Kid
Epic Hero - A Brighter Mess
Epic Hero - New Life
Evanescence - "Fallen"
Fastball - Harsh Light of Day
Five For Fighting - "America Town"
Five For Fighting - "The Battle For Everything"
Five For Fighting - Two Lights
The Fizzy Bangers - "Look Ma No Talent"
Fleming & John - "Delusions of Grandeur"
Florez - Find Yourself
Florez - In Flight
The Folk Implosion - One Part Lullaby
The Frames - "Another Love Song"
The Frames - Fitzcarraldo
The Frames - Dance the Devil
The Frames - For the Birds
The Frames - "Setlist"
The Frames - Burn The Maps
Frickin' A - "Frickin' A"
Furslide - Adventure
Chris Gaines - Greatest Hits
GB Leighton - It's All Good
Gin Blossoms - "New Miserable Experience"
The Glands - The Glands
Go Kart Go - Flying
Granian - Without Change
David Gray - "White Ladder"
Great Big Sea - "Rant and Roar"
Great Big Sea - Turn
Great Big Sea - Great Big CD
John Gregory - "Pictures From Home"
John Thomas Griffith - Apples & Onions
John Thomas Griffith - "Aluminum"
Josh Groban - "Josh Groban"
Gus - "Word of Mouth Parade"
Guster - "Parachute"
Guster - Goldfly
Guster - "Lost and Gone Forever"
Guster - "Keep it Together"
Handsome Devil - Love and Kisses From the Underground
Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova - The Swell Season
Hanson - Underneath
Colin Hay - Going Somewhere
Darren Hayes - "Spin"
The Hiss - "Panic Movement"
Hit the Switch - Domestic Tranquility and Social Justice
Chad Hollister Band - Spirits
Buddy Holly - "Greatest Hits"
Hootie and the Blowfish - "The Best of Hootie and the Blowfish 1993 Thru 2003"
Natalie Imbruglia - "Left of the Middle"
Incubus - "Crow Left of the Murder"
Chris Isaak - "Heart-Shaped World"
James - Laid
Jeremiah Freed - Jeremiah Freed
Jimmy Eat World - "Jimmy Eat World"
Billy Joel - "Greatest Hits, Volume 1"
Billy Joel - "Greatest Hits, Volume 2"
The Josh Dion Band - Give Love
Jude - "No One Is Really Beautiful"
Gary Jules - "Trading Snakeoil For Wolftickets"
July For Kings - "Swim"
Jupiter Sunrise - Under a Killer Blue Sky
Joshua Kadison - "Painted Desert Serenade"
Mat Kearney - Nothing Left To Lose
Kenna - "New Sacred Cow"
Avril Lavigne - "Let Go"
Lazlo Bane - "11 Transistor"
Fred LeBlanc - "Double Dammit"
Fred LeBlanc - ...Playing The Game Of My Life
Fred LeBlanc - "Shiver"
Huey Lewis and the News - "Time Flies: The Best of Huey Lewis and the News"
Gordon Lightfoot - "Complete Greatest Hits"
Live - "The Distance To Here"
Live - Birds of Prey
Live - "Awake: The Best of Live"
Llama - Close To The Silence
The Loft - "Soulful Southeast Exhibit"
Loud Lucy - "Breathe"
Low Millions - "Ex-Girlfriends"
Barry Manilow - Ultimate Manilow
Maroon 5 - "Songs About Jane"
Richard Marx - "Days in Avalon"
Matchbox 20 - "Yourself or Someone Like You"
Matchbox 20 - Mad Season
Matchbox 20 - "More Than You Think You Are"
MC Lars - The Graduate
Monkey Puzzle - Freakin' on the Lunar Surface
Motion City Soundtrack - I Am the Movie
Moxy Fruvous - You Will Go To The Moon
Jason Mraz - "Waiting For My Rocket To Come"
Mr. Mister - "Broken Wings"
Matt Nathanson - Still Waiting For Spring
Matt Nathanson - Beneath These Fireworks
Nickelback - "Silver Side Up"
Nickelback - "The Long Road"
Nirvana - "Nirvana"
The Nixons - "Foma"
N*Sync - "No Strings Attached"
O.A.R. - "Risen"
Oasis - "(What's The Story) Morning Glory"
OK Go - OK Go
Our Lady of the Highway - Beauty Won's Save Us This Year
The Pat McGuire Band - Big Brown Sofa
The Perishers - From Nothing To One
The Perishers - Let There Be Morning
PFR - "Them"
Poe - Haunted
Steve Poltz - One Left Shoe
Primitive Radio Gods - Rocket
The Proclaimers - "Sunshine on Leith"
The Rapture - "Echoes"
Reel Big Fish - "Turn the Radio Off"
Reel Big Fish - "Why Do They Rock So Hard?"
Relient K - "Anatomy of Tongue in Cheek"
R.E.M. - "In Time - The Best of R.E.M. - 1988-2003"
Revis - "Places For Breathing"
Lionel Richie - "Definitive Collection"
Rubyhorse - Rise
Paul Sanchez - "Wasted Lives and Bluegrass"
Savage Garden - "Affirmation"
Adam Schmitt - "World So Bright"
Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band - "Greatest Hits"
Duncan Sheik - "Duncan Sheik"
Duncan Sheik - Daylight
The Shins - "Chutes Too Narrow"
Eric Shiveley - Everything Is Good
Sister Hazel - "Sister Hazel"
Sister Hazel - "...somewhere more familiar"
Sister Hazel - "Fortress"
Sister Hazel - "Chasing Daylight"
Sister Hazel - "Live Live"
Sister Hazel - "Lift"
Sloan - "Pretty Together"
Smile Empty Soul - "Smile Empty Soul"
Darden Smith - "Sunflower"
Snow Patrol - "Final Straw"
The Soundtrack of Our Lives - "Behind the Music"
Spooner - The Fugitive Dance
Bruce Springsteen - "The Rising"
Sugar Ray - Sugar Ray
SR-71 - Now You See Inside
Johanna Stahley - I'm Not Perfect
STB - Spit
STB - Swerve
Stephen Speaks - One More Day
Sting and the Police - "The Very Best of Sting and the Police"
Casey Stratton - "Standing at the Edge"
Teitur - "Poetry and Aeroplanes"
Sonia Tetlow - Sula Peace
Sonia Tetlow - Reclaiming Beauty
Sonia Tetlow - from a seed of sand
Theory of a Deadman - "Theory of a Deadman"
They Might Be Giants - "Flood"
Third Eye Blind - Third Eye Blind
Three Days Grace - "Three Days Grace"
The Tragically Hip - "Music @ Work"
Train - "My Private Nation"
Trotsky Icepick - "Hot Pop Hello"
Usher - "8701"
Vast - Visual Audio Sensory Theater
Vast - Nude
The Verve Pipe - "Villains"
The Verve Pipe - "Underneath"
Butch Walker - Letters
Butch Walker and the Lets-Go-Out-Tonites - The Rise and Fall of...
Matthew West - "Happy"
Matthew West - History
Dar Williams - End of the Summer
Dar Williams - Mortal City
Brian Wilson - Pet Sounds Live
World Leader Pretend - Fit For Faded
The Zutons - Who Killed the Zutons?

Country CDs

Trace Adkins - Dreamin' Out Loud
Rhett Akins - Somebody New
Alabama - "American Pride"
Alabama - In Pictures
Alabama - "For The Record"
Blackhawk - Greatest Hits
Gary Allan - Smoke Rings in the Dark
John Anderson - Solid Ground
Jessica Andrews - Who I Am
Steve Azar - "Hearbreak Town"
Clint Black - "The Greatest Hits"
James Bonamy - What I Live To Do
James Bonamy - "Roots and Wings"
Paul Brandt - "Calm Before The Storm"
Chad Brock - Chad Brock
Chad Brock - Yes!
Garth Brooks - Fresh Horses
Garth Brooks - "Double Live"
Garth Brooks - Scarecrow
Tracy Byrd - Keepers: Greatest Hits
Tracy Byrd - It's About Time
Chris Cagle - Play It Loud
Lionel Cartwright - I Watched It On The Radio
Lionel Cartwright - Chasin' The Sun
Mark Chesnutt - Greatest Hits
Mark Chesnutt - Thank God For Believers
Jameson Clarke - Workin' On A Groove
Common Thread - Songs of the Eagles
Billy Ray Cyrus - The Best Of...Cover to Cover
Billy Dean - "Young Man"
Billy Dean - Greatest Hits
Billy Dean - Real Man
Diamond Rio - Greatest Hits
Diamond Rio - Unbelievable
Diamond Rio - One More Day
Diamond Rio - Completely
Joe Diffie - Honky Tonk Attitude
Joe Diffie - "Third Rock From The Sun"
Joe Diffie - Greatest Hits
Joe Diffie - A Night To Remember
Exile - Greatest Hits
Keith Gattis - Keith Gattis
Ashley Gearing - Maybe It's Time
Andy Griggs - You Won't Ever Be Lonely
Andy Griggs - Freedom
Vince Gill - "Souvenirs"
Hank Flamingo - Hank Flamingo
Eric Heatherly - Swimming in Champagne
Ty Herndon - What Mattered Most
Ty Herndon - Living in a Moment
Ty Herndon - Big Hopes
Ty Herndon - Steam
Highway 101 - Greatest Hits
Faith Hill - Faith
Hometown News - Wheels
Hometown News - Hometown News
Alan Jackson - "A Lot About Livin' (And a Little 'Bout Love)"
Cledus T. Judd - No Relation
Cledus T. Judd - I Stoled This Record
Cledus T. Judd - Did I Shave My Back For This?
Cledus T. Judd - Just Another Day In Parodies
The Judds - Number One Hits
Toby Keith - "Greatest Hits: Volume 1"
David Kersh - Goodnight Sweetheart
Hal Ketchum - Sure Love
Tracy Lawrence - "I See It Now"
Shannon Lawson - Chase the Sun
Little Texas - Greatest Hits
The Little Women Band - American Girl
Lonesome Steve - Presents: Volunteer Corn
Lonestar - Lonestar
Lonestar - Crazy Nights
Lonestar - Lonely Grill
Marcel - "You, Me, and the Windshield"
Marshall Dyllon - "Enjoy the Ride"
The Mavericks - Super Colossal Smash Hits of the 90's: The Best of...
Shane McAnally - Shane McAnally
Martina McBride - Greatest Hits
Neal McCoy - Greatest Hits
Reba McEntire - So Good Together
Tim McGraw - All I Want
Tim McGraw - Everywhere
Tim McGraw - Not a Moment Too Soon
Tim McGraw - Set This Circus Down
Mark McGuinn - Mark McGuinn
Mark McGuinn - One Man's Crazy
Shane Minor - Shane Minor
John Michael Montgomery - John Michael Montgomery
John Michael Montgomery - Greatest Hits
John Michael Montgomery - Home To You
David Lee Murphy - Out With a Bang
Willie Nelson - "The Great Divide"
Joe Nichols - Man With a Memory
Nickel Creek - Nickel Creek
Nickel Creek - Why Should the Fire Die?
Robert Ellis Orrall - Flying Colors
Brad Paisley - Who Needs Pictures
Michael Peterson - Michael Peterson
Michael Peterson - Being Human
Pirates of the Mississippi - Pirates of the Mississippi
The Ranch - "The Ranch"
Rascal Flatts - "Melt"
Collin Raye - I Think About You
Collin Raye - "Direct Hits"
Collin Raye - The Walls Came Down
Collin Raye - Can't Back Down
Restless Heart - Greatest Hits
Ricochet - Ricochet
Kenny Rogers - With Love
Sawyer Brown - Greatest Hits 1990-1995
Sawyer Brown - Drive Me Wild
Jason Sellers - "I'm Your Man"
Kevin Sharp - Measure of a Man
SheDaisy - Knock on the Sky
Shenandoah - Super Hits
Shenandoah - In the Vicinity of the Heart
Shenandoah - Under the Kudzu
Blake Shelton - Blake Shelton
Blake Shelton - "The Dreamer"
Daryle Singletary - Greatest Hits
Sons of the Desert - "Whatever Comes First"
South 65 - South 65
South 65 - Dream Large
Tommy Shane Steiner - "Then Came the Night"
Doug Stone - Greatest Hits, Volume 1
Doug Stone - Make Up in Love
George Strait - Always Never the Same
George Strait - Latest Greatest Straitest Hits
Doug Supernaw - Greatest Hits
Randy Travis - This is Me
Randy Travis - A Man Ain't Made of Stone
Randy Travis - "Live: It Was Just A Matter Of Time"
Randy Travis - "The Very Best Of"
Rick Trevino - Super Hits
Travis Tritt - "It's All About To Change"
Travis Tritt - Greatest Hits: From the Beginning
Travis Tritt - Down the Road I Go
Shania Twain - "The Woman in Me"
Conway Twitty - "20 All-Time Greatest Hits"
Keith Urban - Keith Urban
Phil Vassar - "Phil Vassar"
Phil Vassar - "American Child"
Phil Vassar - "Shaken Not Stirred"
Phil Vassar - "Greatest Hits"
Clay Walker - Greatest Hits
Clay Walker - Live, Laugh, Love
Steve Wariner - Drive
Steve Wariner - The Best of...
Steve Wariner - Burnin' the Roadhouse Down
Steve Wariner - Two Teardrops
Steve Wariner - Faith in You
Steve Wariner - Steal Another Day
The Warren Brothers - "King of Nothing"
Bryan White - Between Now and Forever
Bryan White - Greatest Hits
Bryan White - How Lucky I Am
Keith Whitley - The Essential Keith Whitley
Vince Wilcox - "Reconciled"
Kelly Willis - "What I Deserve"
Mark Wills - Mark Wills
Mark Wills - Wish You Were Here
Mark Wills - Permanently
Mark Wills - Loving Every Minute
Darryl Worley - I Miss My Friend
Trisha Yearwood - Songbook: A Collection of Hits

Other CD's

The Chavos - The Billburg Sessions (EP)
Cowboy Mouth - The Voodoo Shoppe EP (EP)
Epic Hero - Blacking Out the Stars (EP)
evenstar - Bad Luck Yesterday (EP)
evenstar - Ready For Takeoff (EP)
Mitch Hedberg - "Strategic Grill Locations"
Mitch Hedberg - "Mitch All Together"
Swanky Modes - "Ordinary Man" (From the movie, Tapeheads)
Brian Regan - "Brian Regan Live"
Sonia Tetlow - The Chicken Fingers EP (EP)
Steven Wright - I Have a Pony
Various Artists - "Summer Jammin'"
Various Artists - Wedding Day Music




The VHS Collection

Current: 20

Analyze That
Cradle Will Rock
Frank McCluskey, C.I.
The Girl Next Door
The Good Girl
Igby Goes Down
Interstate 60
The Journey of Natty Gann
Loose Shoes
Memoirs of an Invisible Man
Miller's Crossing
Modern Problems
Nukie
One Night At McCool's
Poltergeist III
Run Ronnie Run!
Screwed
The Suburbans
What Planet Are You From?
Whipped

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Date:2004-10-08 00:24
Subject:Why am I the only one who believes in the night?
Security:Public
Mood: restless

Believes In The Night by me

Watched a couple late night movies,
Jotted down a few more lines.
Life's never made more sense to me.
Not that it's saying a lot,
Pretty sure I'm still a few chapters behind.

Turned the radio on like always.
Sang along to words I didn't know
Counting the hours 'til tomorrow is today.
Sleep comes, ready or not.
Hell, sometimes I don't even know.

But I'll awake again this morning,
Manage a smile,
Walk out the door.
And I'll forget everything I learned
The night before.

The night before.

I'm under a spell
Brought on by the sun.
It shines so dark,
Why am I the only one
Who believes in the night?
When we can't see what's not right
In our world.

Broke a couple more of my rules.
Jumped out of love, fell into lust.
It's the moon's fault for not being cruel
When the light it brought
Poured down gently upon us.

The sun spared me no emotion,
Put every single sin into view.
I'll rub the dusk in like a lotion,
Pray the burns it fought
Can somehow never make it through.

When I awake again this morning,
Try to pretend
My soul's not sore.
I will forget everything that happened
The night before.

And as I watch that fateful dawning
I see its light
Mock me once more.
It will haunt me with my memories
Of the night before.

The night before.

Back under a spell
Brought on by the sun.
It shines so dark,
Am I the only one
Who believes in the night?
When we can't see what's not right
In our world,
In our world.

Why am I the only one?
Why must I be the only one
Who believes?

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Date:2004-10-05 14:58
Subject:The color wheel keeps all my failures in a binder.
Security:Public
Mood: creative

Okay, so I'm actually proud of this one. That's rare. Usually I just toss them up here for the fun of it. But this one...this one I like. Humor me.

Gray by me

Red is anger
Don't wanna be caught in the middle of that again.
Blue is familiar -
A reminder of every place I've been.

Every shade is a constant reminder.
The color wheel
Keeps all my failures in a binder.

When I see green
It reminds me of emeralds
I couldn't hold on to,
Lost long ago.
When I see yellow,
It reminds me of another
I should have held on to,
The one I let go.
Colors drained from my life,
Nothing's ever black and white.

Brown's the color
Of the ground on which I'd often sleep.
Pink the complexion
Of a love I was never able to keep.

Every tint assures I'll never forget.
It's like the rainbow
Holds a pot of shame at the end of it.

When I see green
It reminds me of emeralds
I couldn't hold on to,
Lost long ago.
When I see yellow,
It reminds me of another
I should have held on to,
The one I let go.
Colors drained from my life,
Nothing's ever black and white.

I see gray,
Let the brilliance drift away.
I pray I don't drown
In this sea of shades.
Let that spectrum brighten someone else's day.
I see gray.

I see gray,
Let the brilliance drift away.
I pray
I don't drown
In this sea of shades.
Let that spectrum brighten someone else's day
While I see gray.

Colors drained from my life.
Nothing's ever black and white.
I see gray.

6 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-09-17 15:42
Subject:A million
Security:Public
Mood: bored

Dug this one out of somewhere in the middle of the file. Not quite the back, but definitely not new.

A Million Times Before by me

Took you out of my wallet
And just looked at you
Like a million times before,
A million times before.

Slipped you back in my pocket
And then walked away
Like a million times before,
But I don't cry anymore.

You know I used to
It all used to flood out.
I guess I got used to it,
The flood's become a drought.

But I'm not sure which one hurts more.
Maybe I'll be able to tell
Which one is the lesser hell
When I've lived it
Like a million times before.

There are days when a tear falls
But never the same
As a million times before
When they all fell to the floor.

There are times when my skin crawls
Picturing your face
With the one that you adore
'Cause it used to be me before -

Before the sun rose
And chased the moonlight out.
Back when feelings rose from me,
Now I think I'm all cried out.

But I'm not sure which one hurts more.
Maybe I'll be able to tell
Which one is the lesser hell
When I've lived it
Like a million times before.

A million times from now,
Will I have this figured out?
Will I finally be over
Knowing that it's over
And knowing that I'm over
You?

'Cause right now
I'm not sure which one hurts more.
Maybe I'll be able to tell
Which one is the lesser hell
When I've lived it
Like a million times before.
A million times before
A million times before.

6 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-07-23 02:50
Subject:Friends only
Security:Public

Here it goes.

Friends only in

5

4

4

Oh wait, I already said 4. Nuts.

Let's take it from the top.

5

4

3

2

Ready?

1

Friends only. Booyah.

10 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-07-22 06:30
Subject:"I'm all tapped out" or "It was just there."
Security:Public
Mood: relaxed

Ate at Biaggi's this morning. Kinda.

I now have fruit snacks. What is better in this world than fruit snacks? Okay, so a lot of things. But they're still good.

Cats drive me insane. I want to hit them hard with hammers sometimes. But I don't. Because I'm a humanitarian.

What does being a humanitarian have to do with being nice to animals? They're not humans. Wouldn't that make you an animatarian? Yes, I just invented that word. No, you can not steal it.

Curb Your Enthusiasm. Y'all ever seen it? Fantastic show. Just fantastic. I need Season Two. Now.

So seriously, BNL in Cincinnati in August. Yeah.

I just got tired. As in, just now. So I'm going to go write for an hour or two and then go to bed.

Quick people notes:

Hung with Steve.
Talked to Angela.
Talked to Amanda.
Talked briefly to Speech Writer Laura.
Got short e-mail from Jessie.
Tried (unsuccessfully) to call someone.

Okay, I'm outta here. Remember, if you haven't already declared yourself for the friends only journal, better do so now. This is your second warning. Then I'll start pulling out your fingernails one by one. Have a nice day!

10 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-07-21 06:06
Subject:"Honk if you're horny" just causes road rage between billy goats.
Security:Public
Mood: satisfied

So there have been a few complaints (not many, mind you, but a few) about my not posting much these days. At first I was going to say that I don't have a lot to post about. But I just got to thinking. Literally, I mean - just now. Like, as I was typing this...

When we go, what do we leave behind? Other people's memories? Perhaps some weak high school essays or some video tapes of talent shows we were ashamed to be in in the first place? So why NOT have a few extra journal entries here and there to leave behind. Even though I'm sure that, after you're dead, if you don't update for awhile (which I'm assuming most posthumous people aren't capable of doing), your account probably gets killed. But still. If I took that logic into consideration it would totally ruin my point.

And so I post. And, much like all the greats, my work won't truly be appreciated until after I'm dead. Okay, so that's a lie. And I've always hated when people have said that. Just because Mr. X and Ms. Q had problems being recognized before they died doesn't mean "all the greats" did. Seriously. What kind of idiocy is that? I'd rather be appreciated in my own time. And I'm halfway willing to sell out if that's what it takes. Who wants after death appreciation? Wouldn't you want to be around to appreciate people appreciating you? Stunning how logical logic is sometimes.

Anyway, I believe I've strayed from the original topic. And that is that I will try to post on a more regular basis now. However, I'm toying with the idea of making this that oh so exclusive thing known as the

FRIENDS ONLY JOURNAL

Ooooh...scary thought, isn't it? To think, those of you whom I ban from viewing this thing will never again get to see my innermost thoughts. Stop applauding. I mean it.

So I leave you with the promise to start posting more regularly. But I also warn you that it will be with the sacrifice of this more than likely becoming friends only. And that means that if you want to REMAIN on the friends list so you can read all this candid stuff (like what I like on my hot dogs or what my favorite Goldie Hawn movie is [trick question: I don't have one]), you'll just have to leave a comment on here and BEG me not to get rid of you.

Of course I'll reiterate this in another, shorter, less nauseating post. Because no one has made it this far through this one. Look, I'll prove it. I'll just start making up sentences with random words. Watch. The dog looks like a deaf monkey when he flings turds through the trees. See? Or how about...I never liked Abraham Lincoln because his face closely resembled Hitler's ass. Now see, if anyone were still paying attention, they'd be both thoroughly confused and convincingly outraged at the same time. But that's okay. Because Grandma hates to play piano in front of naked strangers holding candy canes. My, isn't this fun.

And now I believe I'll big you adieu while I go sit and think. It's a fun thing to do. Especially at 6:30 in the morning. Occassionally a thought will end up coursing through my fingers until it reaches the paper. But that's generally quite messy, what with all the blood strewn about and whatnot. That's why I try to hold a pen while I think. It keeps the gore level down considerably.

Do take care, miscreants. You're not really miscreants. I just really like that word. If, indeed, it is a word. If not, ignore it and just pretend I called you all poo poo heads. That's kinda fun to say anyway. Try it yourself.

Poo poo head.

Poo poo head.

Isn't vocabulary fun?

P.S. Yes, I typed "big" instead of "bid." Like you've never had a typo before? Screw you, butt chowder.

28 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-07-20 01:47
Subject:Reality's not subtle.
Security:Public
Mood: bored

Turn Out The Light by me

I've been staring at the light bulb
Shining on my mirror,
Trying not to look down -
Afraid it'll all be clearer
If I catch my reflection;
Ignoring's my protection
From the truth.

And I almost wish it'd burn out,
Conceal away that image.
The light, I've learned to live without,
But I still fear the darkness.
Don't want to view reality
Or see what's out in front of me...
Or maybe I do.

So hide
What's there
I may never be prepared.
And don't keep
Me aware
If there's anything to look forward to,
'Cause right now I know it's no use
To be here.
Turn out the light.

I've been standing in the afterglow,
Reflecting old memories.
Pretending to pretend I know
That this is all pretending.
But reality's not subtle,
Coming forward with rebuttal,
Perception's loose.

Today the sun came back out,
Once again it went away.
Every dream ends in a blackout,
Every night seizes the day.
The jaw always feels let down,
The ear always regrets sounds,
The light, the eyes refuse.

So hide
What's there
I may never be prepared.
And don't keep
Me aware
If there's anything to look forward to,
'Cause right now I know it's no use
To be here.
Turn out the light.

Turn out the light,
Pull out the plug,
Flip off the switch,
And it'll all be over soon.
Don't wanna see all there is to lose.

So hide
What's there
I may never be prepared.
And don't keep
Me aware
If there's anything to look forward to,
'Cause right now I know it's no use
To be here.

The dark has become too clear,
So turn out the light.

4 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-07-13 06:03
Subject:You go against my sense in a tense that's pretend.
Security:Public
Mood: mellow

Spirit by me

I'm hiding from the door and telephone,
Escaping from where any light is shown,
I'm lonely but can never be alone
You won't let me.

I'm shaking from the thoughts inside my head,
Erasing everything she ever said,
I'm aching from scars where my soul has bled,
Why won't you leave me?

Oh spirit -
You reside inside
Where I can't see
I deny you to remind
Me of her and me
But you do
But you do
Oh spirit -
You go against my sense
In a tense that's pretend
So I plead you to leave
From me like she did
But you don't
But you don't

Oh spirit, what is it you want?

I'm tied down
Under a cloud
With your tiny umbrella
Keeping me safe and sound.
Why do this?
Why put me through this?
When you could so easily
Let me drown...

Oh spirit -
You reside inside
Where I can't see
I deny you to remind
Me of her and me
But you do
But you do
Oh spirit -
You go against my sense
In a tense that's pretend
So I plead you to leave
From me like she did
But you don't
But you don't

Oh spirit, what is it you want
From me?
I don't see
Why I need
To be reminded of a time in my life
That was right,
Shining bright
When I'm in the middle of my darkest night.

Oh spirit -
You go against my sense
In a tense that's pretend
But please don't you leave
From me like she did
Oh please don't
Oh please don't

Oh spirit, you're all that I want.
You're all that I want.

2 comments | post a comment



Date:2004-07-13 05:55
Subject:It's six in the morning. Almost bed time.
Security:Public
Mood: peaceful

The last few days, in a nutshell.

I saw Anchorman Saturday night with Vincent. That was after him getting pulled over by the nicest cop ever. We were flying trying to catch the flick. Getting pulled over made us late...so we just drove really fast to a different theatre to catch another showing of it. Some fools never learn.

Sunday was the work all day day. As it will be, starting in two weeks, from now on. Open to close...fourteen hours of pizza bliss. Woo.

During my few hour break Sunday night, I went with Mike and Kathy to see Anchorman again. They missed it Saturday night, and I was more than willing to catch it again. And so I did. And it was just as funny the second time through - if not more so.

Today, didn't do much. It's my off day, as I spend the next six days at work. Tonight I hooked up with Steve. McDonald's and Cowboy Mouth. Fun night. Hadn't seen the big guy in awhile.

That about covers it for now. I still want to go see BNL next Tuesday. I don't know if it's going to happen. Haven't heard from Jake yet...

Oh. I forgot. On the people front...

I got to talk to Joanie briefly earlier today. That was awesome. As much as we e-mail each other, it was still great to actually talk to her - even though it was still just online. She said she's still trying to find time to get down to Evansville sometime.

I also talked to an old elementary school comrade (or at least someone I KNEW in elementary school). She was working at the theatre when I went to see Anchorman the second time (see, I KNEW I had to see it again), and I instantly recognized her, which is, I'll admit, a little weird after at least twelve years. So I left a far too long comment on her blog on her webpage and then talked to her for a bit online tonight. That was a highlight.

And Casey Jane, no, I didn't forget about you. So here's to my good buddy Casey Jane - I miss ya and hope you're doing well, kiddo.

Doug out.

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Date:2004-07-10 07:22
Subject:I'm alive...kinda.
Security:Public

I'd write in here...if I had anything to write about.

The word "fun" hasn't existed in awhile. Luckily, in the last couple of days, it's become a little bit better.

I got to hang with the Don. I showed up to chill at work for a bit just as he was showing up for food. So I fixed him some grub, and then off we went for an evening of manly things. Or at least of going to Wal-Mart to look at manly things. Or CD's and movies. But still! It was good. First pleasurable thing I'd done outside of work (things with Vince don't count, 'cause that's my dawg) in awhile. Since Jessie and I went to Mandarin Garden, I guess (Yes, Amanda, we went to Mandarin...proud of me?).

Last night, in between solving dilemmas at work, Mike, Kathy, and I went and saw Mean Girls. Great flick, man. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Even Mike liked it, and, besides the latest film with a certain red superhero in it, he hasn't liked a movie to hit the theatres in quite awhile. So that's saying a lot.

Anchorman is next on the list. How can it NOT be the funniest movie of the year...if not one of the funniest of all time? I can't wait. Vince and I are going to catch it either tonight or tomorrow night. But definitely one or the other.

God, I'm tired. But I can't sleep. And that's no good. Sometimes my arms still feel empty when I try to sleep, and so it never comes. Yeah, it's lame. Yeah, it's pathetic. But I can't help it. Oh well.

I totally missed Manda while she was in town. That's no good. I was free for vast stretches of every day of her visit except one...the one they tried to call me on. Figures. That's the kind of luck I get.

Hmmm...well, when depression hits, it's about time to wrap it up. And so, that's what I'll do.

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